Avengers: Endgame

Imagine my horror when booking a trip to see my friends get married in Southeast Asia when I realised that my holiday would coincide with the release of both Avengers: Endgame and Eighth Grade. The HORROR. I’m starting to suspect they didn’t even consider the 2019 cinema listings when booking their wedding, the selfish bastards.

So after less than 24 hours back in the country, I decided to go and see the film of the year. Spoilers ahead, obvs.

Now my disdain for the entire Marvel franchise is something I just love to talk obnoxiously loudly about because everyone is so interested in my ill informed opinions, but I still hate to be left out of a cinema event quite like this one. I even almost went to catch the film at a cinema in Singapore (though one had USB ports so you could charge your phone – I DO NOT APPROVE) but had to push this down the list as it was determined to be “not the most useful way to spend our time there.” Rude.

But here’s a lovely thing. Almost 3 weeks after the release of Endgame and prior to me going to the cinema, I haven’t seen a single spoiler. Not one. Granted, I haven’t been on social media maybe as much as usual and I didn’t log on to Twitter at all, but I still think that is a really lovely and wonderful thing. Made even more prominent by the fact that I’ve seen at least 4,000 Game of Thrones spoilers in the same time period. Like, within seconds of the episode airing. Hats off to Marvel fans for being a classy bunch of nerds.

Avengers: Endgame picks up right after Thanos has wiped out half the Universe (I think?) but conveniently none of the main Avengers. Phew! Off to save the day we go. Any real suspense can be quickly murdered by the cinema showing the Spiderman trailer right before the film, but I’m sure that’s not the point.

Good Stuff

Disclaimer: I related very hard to Ant Man during this film, in that I didn’t know what the fuck was going on sometimes but I was having a good time anyhow.

Since I am physically and emotionally averse to any film which is longer than 90 mins, the thought of this being OVER 3 HOURS long made me want to rip my own skin off. But never have I ever, EVER, known a film to go by so quickly. When we got to the big old battle scene, I thought some shit is gonna go horribly wrong here since we’ve got so long left of this marathon. 

I was so wrong. Wtf?! Did watching the film itself make me go through some sort of time warp?! Did I accidentally watch a shorter version of the film but also somehow my watch said it had been 3 hours?! Am I still stuck in the immersive ‘5D’ cinema I went to in Latvia in February?!

What I’m trying to say is: this film must be incredibly engaging and well paced for me to not even notice how long it was. Snaps for Endgame.

I also couldn’t help but get swept away into the emotion of it all, watching the credits roll with a proper bout of ugly crying. Not quite as much as the solo gentleman in front of me who was sobbing very loudly, but it’s an intense time for us all.

The laughs also worked so well for me (though there was hardly any laughter in our quiet screening generally) and fat Thor was a tremendous decision that provided so many great moments.

Now I don’t know if this was some sort of ‘pandering’ feminist shot by MCU – but I loved the bit where all the female superheroes lined up together before they helped Spiderman. I immediately started crying because I am a sucker and a sap but you know what – even if it is some sort of cynical too little too late gesture, I’ll take it. More please.

Bad Stuff

The first half of the film is VERY DRAMATIC and the dialogue was so cheesy, but I do get that that’s sort of the vibe in superhero films. Still vaguely grating until I acclimatised though.

My main gripe with Marvel films is normally that nobody dies which for me equals no jeopardy, which also equals lack of interest. And though people do die here – yay! – it still was a little obvious. Although I can’t deny that the Captain America ending was really really really fucking lovely and made me feel all gooey and joyful.

Furthermore, piss off for making the only main female character with any on screen time at the beginning of the film die half way through – and I’m not counting Captain Marvel as she barely rocked up at all.

Again with the predictability – Captain Marvel’s lack of presence during the big battle is a bit obvs and irritating. But when I was thinking about all this on the way home I decided watching this film (and probably infinity war) is far more about the journey – the brilliant climactic cinematic finale that you’re watching – than any sort of huge twists or dramatic endings. If you can take the ride for what it is, it is so enjoyable.

Conclusion

Right at the last moment, I’ve finally made peace with this generation of Avengers. RIP.

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